I thought of you today

I spoke her name today; first in whisper and then aloud. The context doesn’t really matter. The point is there are things I miss and speaking her name, placing her into real time, is one of them. (Too often thoughts never make it into real time)

It’s strange how little difference there is between “love” and “hate” when it’s passion that pulls you. I’ve found the two almost indistinguishable. Yes you can label your emotions, your feelings, but really the world and our minds are torn between apathy and passion. When you are overcome with feelings, sensations, the distinctions are lost and all that’s left to contrast it is apathy. To truly hate something, you must feel nothing towards it. Maybe this is similar to the idea of the lukewarm being spit from the mouth of God. Be hot, be cold, be anything but lukewarm.

In the past, I had problems feeling certain “negative” emotions: or maybe is was a problem labelling them? When I finally recognized/felt “hate” (not as apathy) is was freeing and I found it so similar to the passions of love it confused me.

I watched Donnie Darko again today. I think I could watch that movie everyday and never get tired of it. I love the irony. I love the concepts of fate. The thoughts on time travel and the incredible sound track. I always come away with new thoughts and concepts after watching it.

One of the best movies ever!