I was once told that to think about things that could never be, things that were impossible- never to be had - was a frivolous pleasure and a waste of your thoughts and time. Talking about such things was an even greater offense. (I guess because it involved bringing another mind into the equation. Twice the inefficency?)
I once tried to limit the nonsense in my thought, to exercise the practical and realistic, but to be honest it felt like I was confined, somehow tied down. I know that not all things are possible. That there are laws in life and certain limitations that restrict us from obtaining all things but there is something freeing about thinking
if. In your mind, it seems, those limitations disapear and all things do become possible. It's a filling of desire. A way to experience something even if it is a farce. Sometimes a lie feels better than the truth.
Now to live in this dream-like state forever/constantly does have its dangers but as a vacation I'd prefer it to the everyday entertainments offered to our culture.
Here are some of my ifs.....
IF
.... I wasn't saving $$$ for my wedding I'd go to
What The Heck Fest and have a chance to see: Mirah & Khaela Maricich/the Blow plus many other bands I'm sure to love. One day, yes one day, I will surely make it out to the West Coast.
.... I had more $$$ saved I would go to Venezuela for my honeymoon and see the giant waterfall and the plateau that inspired Sir Arthur Conan Doyle to write The Lost World. I would brush up on my Spanish, develop a glowing tan and swim in the Atlantic Ocean.
.... I could turn into an animal I would become a spider and weave beautiful silk chords of web amongst the reeds by the ocean. I would capture the sand fleas and horseflys in tight little cocoons and drink the dew that moistened my threads.
.... I captured darkness in my hands I would show it to only a few. True darkness that lets in no light. I don't think all people can handle darkness but perhaps seeing it, holding it, would bring insight into plight.
